13 broken and confused

Hello guys im 13 im in 8th grade i suffer from depression anxitey lately its been getting worse all my thoughts have been negative and it hurts but maybe i deserve it a year ago i was raped i blamed myself recently i was touched in a way i didnt wanna be touched and a couple weeks ago i was being sexually harassed buy the whole football team at school just for those things that happend to me im completely broken hurt and confused i dont wanna be here im trying my best because i know people love me but i dont feel it as much but im still pushing but my thoughts make me feel so much worse i feel lonely betrayed destroyed completely worthless and many more but im still going im trying my best thank you